CLASSIFIED FILE

Joint Terrestrial–Anomalous Events Committee (JTAEC)

OPERATION TIN CAN

Clearance Level: Omega-Red

Filed By: Agent Marlowe, C.A.T.S Liaison

 

Summary:

At approximately 0430 hours, an unauthorized U.S. military retrieval team intercepted and confiscated one of Sheepy’s lesser-known anomalous caches — a buried stash of tin cans located in Sector Delta-14, beneath an abandoned cattle shelter. The team believed the cans to be harmless hoarded items. This assumption was incorrect.

 

Incident Details:

Upon transportation to Site Pineford, base personnel discovered that the cans fell into three categories:

  1. Standard Tin Can — Empty or containing an unidentified, odorless paste (possibly edible, unconfirmed due to test subject refusal).

  2. "Rust-Flavored" Can — A subset infused with an unknown oxidation compound, emitting a faint metallic tang detectable from several meters. Autopsy of taste-test volunteers revealed no permanent harm, but psychological fixation on "the taste" occurred in 70% of cases.

  3. "Pull-Tab Grenades" — Highly unstable munitions disguised as standard cans. Pulling the can tab functioned identically to removing a grenade pin, with detonation occurring after 4–6 seconds. Fragments retained partial anomalous properties, embedding themselves into metal surfaces and resisting removal.

 

Sheepy’s Response:

By 1930 hours the same day, Sheepy became aware of the theft. Satellite surveillance and ground sensors recorded the following sequence:

  • 1945 hours: Sheepy emerged from void-wool storage, wielding his emotional support hatchet (designated "Betsy" by C.A.T.S field teams).

  • 2000–2015 hours: Multiple perimeter patrols around Site Pineford were neutralized non-lethally — their gear stripped and repurposed as ad-hoc armor.

  • 2018 hours: Power outage initiated via an unknown mechanism (possible wool-based conduction interference).

  • 2021 hours: Sheepy breached the west gate and proceeded directly to the storage hangar containing the confiscated cans. Witness reports describe his eyes as “reflective, like frost on silver.”

  • 2025 hours: Surveillance cameras cut out. Audio logs captured only rhythmic hatchet strikes followed by an extended metallic scraping noise.

  • 2033 hours: All cans recovered. Explosive variants detonated during Sheepy’s controlled retreat, rendering the hangar unusable.

 

Outcome:

  • Site Pineford sustained severe infrastructure damage and remains offline for decontamination.

  • All stolen cans — including anomalous variants — have been confirmed missing, presumed back in Sheepy’s possession.

  • U.S. government units have issued a standing "Do Not Interfere" directive regarding Sheepy’s personal caches.

  • Emotional Support Hatchet "Betsy" has been classified as a Tier-4 Artifact, not to be engaged under any circumstances.

 

Addendum:

Recovered field note from an unnamed operative reads:

“They weren’t just cans… they were his. And I think… I think he knew exactly which ones we touched.”
 

Below is an audio log for our hearing impaired operatives.