MUSHROOM GENOCIDE

Declassified – War Crimes Tribunal File
 DATE: 14 August 1994
 LOCATION: Northern Moose Front, Boreal Theater
 SUBJECT: Subject "Sheepy" – Unlawful Biological Warfare


 

Background:
 During the later stages of the Moose Wars, Subject Sheepy (Ovis Aries, Rank: Warlord) began experimenting with biological agents derived from hallucinogenic and parasitic fungi. The program, codenamed Project Sporestorm, violated the Antler Accord of 1987, which explicitly banned the use of psychoactive bioweapons in interspecies conflicts.

Witness testimony from captured Moose soldiers describes “a creeping fog” and “the grass turning into teeth” — consistent with heavy exposure to weaponized spore clouds.


 

Operation Execution:

  • 0630 Hours: Sheepy’s forces deployed Myco-Barrage Units — makeshift artillery launchers firing pods of pressurized fungal spores.

  • 0700 Hours: Targeted moose encampments experienced mass disorientation, hallucinations, and uncontrollable itching in antler tissue.

  • 0745 Hours: Sheepy personally entered the camp wielding his Emotional Support Hatchet and a megaphone, shouting contradictory battle orders to sow further confusion.

  • 0800–0900 Hours: Entire moose platoons reportedly “turned on each other” under the influence of the spores, mistaking their comrades for rival species (including wolves, bears, and in one case, vending machines).


 

Documented War Crimes:

  1. Indiscriminate Spore Bombing of civilian moose settlements.

  2. Fungal Brainwashing of captured prisoners, forcing them to sing propaganda sea shanties until collapse.

  3. Contamination of Food Stores with cordyceps-infused oats, leading to full motor control loss in affected populations.

  4. Psychological Torture via “infinite mushroom field” hallucinations lasting up to 72 hours.


 

Aftermath:

  • Over 4,000 moose casualties attributed to fungal bioweapon exposure.

  • Entire swaths of forest rendered uninhabitable due to aggressive mycelium overgrowth.

  • International condemnation from the United Nations of Ungulates.

  • Sheepy declared Persona Non Grata in Canada, New Zealand, and the Isle of Man.


 

Conclusion:
 The Mushroom Genocide remains one of the most brutal and bizarre campaigns in the history of ungulate warfare. Though official records state the program was dismantled, unverified sightings of Sheepy carrying “spore grenades” suggest otherwise.

Risk Level: CRITICAL — engage only with full hazmat containment.
 

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