TOP SECRET
FILE NAME: OPERATION SATURN STOMP
CLASSIFICATION LEVEL: RED-ALPHA – NEED-TO-KNOW ONLY
DATE OF COMPILATION: 14 November 1986
STATUS: PARTIALLY DECLASSIFIED 2024
Summary:
Operation Saturn Stomp refers to a series of unidentified high-energy seismic events detected in and around the planet Saturn between 1984 and 1986. Multiple agencies — including NASA, ESA, and unacknowledged defense contractors — reported planet-wide tremors on a scale inconsistent with any known atmospheric or geologic processes.
What triggered these events remains officially undetermined. However, inter-agency memos reveal a range of classified theories — many of which have been labeled “biologically implausible” but remain un-dismissed.
Theories Under Consideration:
Mass-Impact Hypothesis
Early reports suggested a large asteroid collision.
Problem: No visual confirmation of debris, crater formation, or energy signature consistent with kinetic impact.
Ring Disturbance Chain Reaction
Hypothesis that the gravitational collapse of a ring segment could cause seismic resonance in Saturn’s core.
Problem: Energy levels recorded exceed predictions by over 400%.
Subsurface Industrial Activity
Analysis of frequency patterns reveals repeating, rhythm-like intervals — leading some analysts to speculate an artificial cause.
Codeword “Stomp” originated here, describing the regular impact beats as if a massive force was “walking” across the planet’s gaseous surface.
Extraterrestrial Mega-Fauna Theory (Controversial)
Minority theory suggests the seismic patterns match the gait of a large, hoofed organism adapted to low gravity.
Classified sketches — later destroyed — depicted a horned figure with disproportionate leg musculature.
This description bears an uncanny resemblance to earlier lunar encounter logs referencing “Sheepy” (see REAL MOON LANDING file).
Weapon Systems Test
Some believe Saturn Stomp may have been a demonstration of power by an unknown hostile entity.
Code analysis from intercepted transmissions implies a possible Earth-originated actor.
Remarks:
As of last review, OPERATION SATURN STOMP remains open, but active investigation is minimal. Funding was redirected after the 1987 incident known as ANTLERFALL (see file), which shares multiple redacted personnel names with the Saturn Stomp task force.
Cross-Reference Files:
REAL MOON LANDING — Noted similarity in “hoofed entity” movement patterns.
BEZOS — Confirmed later reappearance of Sheepy on lunar surface.
MUSHROOM GENOCIDE — Related to unconventional warfare methods of said entity.
Below is an audio log for our hearing impaired operatives.