JOINT TERRESTRIAL–ANOMALOUS EVENTS COMMITTEE

CLASSIFIED – LEVEL BLACK

FILE: OPERATION BIRTHDAY CANDLE

DATE: [REDACTED]

REFERENCE FILES: TOYS “R” US INCIDENT REPORT, SHEEPY-ANALYSIS, FLAME INCIDENT PROTOCOLS – REV 3

 

INCIDENT SUMMARY

On [REDACTED], Entity “Sheepy” (Ref. SHEEPY-ANALYSIS) was granted supervised access to [REDACTED] Children’s Hospital via Make-A-Wish Foundation request from Patient #2451 (“Danny,” age 7).

Patient cited the Toys “R” Us Incident (see ref. file) as the primary reason for requesting Sheepy’s presence, stating:

“He’s the funniest thing I ever saw, and he stole toys like a raccoon in a wool sweater.”

Sheepy arrived in a decorative cardboard box labeled “FREE RAM – ADOPT ME” and was allowed entry after being cleared by hospital staff (who were unaware of his prior Flame Incident restrictions).

 

EVENT CHRONOLOGY

14:03 hrs – Sheepy emerges from box, greets patient, presents a bundle of rust-flavored tin cans as “party favors.”

14:07 hrs – Cake is brought into the patient ward.

14:08 hrs – Sheepy produces a full military-grade flamethrower from his wool storage (“void wool” property noted), declaring:

“Time to light these babies up proper.”

14:08–14:10 hrs – Multiple staff attempt verbal de-escalation. Sheepy ignores them, igniting all candles and a significant portion of the tablecloth in one prolonged burst.

14:10–14:12 hrs – Emergency sprinkler system triggers, causing localized flooding in the party area. Balloons burst from heat exposure. Patients startled; no physical injuries reported.

14:13 hrs – Sheepy claims the fire was “just for dramatic effect” and attempts to hand the flamethrower to a nurse as a “gift.”

 

OUTCOME

  • No children injured. Several displayed acute startle responses, now undergoing light counseling.

  • Cake declared “structurally compromised” but edible.

  • Party relocated to a different ward; Sheepy escorted from premises by security.

  • Entity permanently banned from [REDACTED] Children’s Hospital under “No-Return Medical Facility Directive.”

 

NOTES & ANALYSIS

  • Void Wool Hazard: Flamethrower was retrieved from Sheepy’s wool despite hospital security sweep prior to entry.

  • Psychological Impact: While initial patient morale increased upon Sheepy’s arrival, incident likely reduced long-term trust in Make-A-Wish vetting process.

  • Potential Escalation: Entity expressed interest in “doing the same thing at a geriatric ward, but with sparklers.” This is to be prevented at all costs.

 

COMMAND DIRECTIVE:

Any future “goodwill” appearances by Entity Sheepy are to be treated as potential high-risk operations requiring full JTAEC containment protocols. No exceptions.

— Commander [REDACTED]

JTAEC Behavioral Oversight Division
 

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